Open Journal

January 27th, 2025

“The love within you, wants to love every part of you . Especially the ones you see the most unlovable “ – Hollie Holder

Dear Body,

I owe you an apology.

For years, I treated you poorly. I neglected you. I ignored your needs, and I punished you for not fitting into the mold that others set for you. I spent so much time judging you, telling you you weren’t enough. That you weren’t good enough.

Growing up, I learned that to be loved, I had to look a certain way. I watched women around me obsess over their appearance. They were obsessed with beauty standards that felt impossible to meet. And I followed suit.

I let an insecure environment shape the way I saw you. I didn’t know how to love you. I didn’t know how to care for you.

So I punished you.

I criticized every inch of you. Your face. Your hips. Your legs. Your chest. I found something wrong with everything. And when I couldn’t change you, I tried to forget you. I starved you. I numbed you. I kept you distracted, hoping to escape the pain.

But the pain never went away. It stayed, deep inside. No amount of makeup or surgery could fix what I felt.

I blamed you for all of it. I thought you were the problem. But now, I know the truth.

It wasn’t you who was broken it was the way I looked at you. I didn’t see you for what you are, a map of my life. Every scar, every mark, every imperfection telling a story.

So … I’m sorry for not seeing you sooner.

You are worthy of love, exactly as you are. I see that now.

You carry me through life. You’ve been there for me through it all. And it’s time I show you the love and respect you deserve.

I’m letting go of the need to be flawless. I’m learning to embrace you , imperfections and all.

You are enough and I love you.

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